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Famous Fruitcake

by Milo

2 Cdried fruit
one Cwater
one Csugar
one Cbutter
4 largeeggs
one tbaking soda
one Cbrown sugar
to tastelemon juice
to tastenuts, shelled
one bottle  whisky

Sample the whisky to check for quality.

Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again -- to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Using electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again

Make sure the whisky is still okay -- cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver

Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity. Next sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find

Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350°. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window, check the whisky again and go to bed

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