I was born in Toronto, Canada and moved to Connecticut at age 6, then to California at age 18, and finally to the Midwest, which is the place that truly feels like home.
I was born in Toronto, Canada and moved to Connecticut at age 6, then to California at age 18 and finally at age 25 to the Midwest, which is the place that truly feels like home. I was a late bloomer in terms of maturing emotionally, and I basically goofed off throughout my twenties. By that, I mean no real college or career. I was married to an abusive alcoholic who used me as a punching bag and I did not wise up until the first time he raised a hand to (as in threw across the room) our infant son. I packed a couple of bags, grabbed the baby and never looked back. I landed here in Illinois, where my parents lived at the time, sadder but wiser at age 25. I realized that if I were to provide any kind of life for myself and my son, I needed an education. I started at a community college, then went to a state college, earning my BA in psychology. I'm not ashamed to say that we lived in public housing and relied on state assistance at times to make ends meet. Often I worked 2 or 3 jobs in addition to trying my best to raise my son without his father, while getting through school.
After being in several emotionally unhealthy relationships, I decided to seek counseling and stop dating altogether in order to fully concentrate on my son and pursuing my Master's degree in marriage and family counseling. Wouldn't you know; about a year later, the most caring, stable, family oriented man walked into my life - my wonderful Roger. We've had 8 1/2 years together. They have been the best years of my life. We have 2 children: Jim, who is going through what we hope is the tail end of his terrible teen period and Christopher, who is funny, sweet, smart and always on the go.
Before CHF, I was as healthy as the proverbial horse, with the exception of 20 years of chronic dieting and compulsive overeating. I was a chubby little girl and my folks started me on diets by age 9. I was a human yo-yo, up and down the scale. I finally realized that diets don't work (duh!) and I gave up dieting and binge eating about 5 years ago. My weight has stabilized. I learned by becoming part of the size acceptance movement that a person can be fit and fat. Although I carried extra pounds, I exercised and ate relatively well. My blood pressure and cholesterol levels were great.
D-day for me was August 19, 1998. That was the day I landed in the cardiac intensive care unit with an EF of 10%. What led up to that was me being incorrectly diagnosed by an allergist as having asthma. I grew up with my brother having severe asthma and as the months went by and inhaler after inhaler did not help me breathe, I knew I did not have asthma. Finally, at the end of July, I insisted that a chest film be done and sure enough, I had an enlarged heart and partially collapsed lungs. The crazy thing is that the allergist looked at the results and did not tell me I could be seriously ill. Without telling me my lungs were collapsed, she suggested that I see my family doctor about my enlarged heart, although it was "probably nothing."
After I explained that I was about to leave for a 2 week stay at our cottage in Ontario and asked if should I delay the trip, she nonchalantly said that I could wait a couple of weeks. I saw my family doc the day after getting home and after listening to my heart and lungs, he said, "I'm sorry but you need to go straight to the hospital." I did and was later told that I probably was within a few days of collapse. I have idiopathic dilated cardiomyopathy caused by a virus.
11/28/99 - As of last month, my EF is between 35-40%. My Vo2 Max has improved, going from 17 to 24%. It's been a pretty wild 15 months but I sure am glad to still be here and I plan on sticking around for some time. Finally, I am very grateful for the support of my family, friends and the wonderful folks here at Jon's Place.
Before I got sick, I was in a high-stress position with lots of on-call hours, running a program for teenagers and their families in crisis due to a child running away. Now I'm working part-time as a substitute teacher in the local school district, teaching grades 5-8. I really enjoy working with kids and the job gives me the flexibility I need to attend to my other commitments, or to stay home and rest when my condition necessitates it.
I also am one of the room mothers for my son Christopher's second grade class. It's a real privilege to do this. When I worked full-time, I rarely could take off the time. I also enjoy "meeting" folks in similar situations as me online, especially as a moderator at a site devoted to lending moral support to women with weight issues, who want to pursue better health. Of course, I check out Jon's Place every day. I still find a great deal of support and valuable information here that I don't find anywhere else.
This past year I've become a bit of a bookworm, yet another thing I enjoyed before but didn't find time to do as much as I wanted. I tend to find an author and then read everything they've written, then go on to another author. I like suspense and murder mysteries, New England Gothic and a little bit of science fiction. I find it much easier to enjoy fiction than non-fiction. With my short term memory problems, non-fictional reading doesn't seem to "stick." I can't remember what I read when I'm done. ;-)
For exercise, I enjoy walking and yoga in the winter, and I add swimming and biking to my regimen when warmer weather comes around.
Cindy McCrackan -- October 4, 1998
All information on this site is opinion only. All concepts, explanations, trials, and studies have been re-written in plain English and may contain errors. No one here is a doctor. No information on this page should be used by any person to affect their medical, legal, educational, social, or psychological treatment in any way. This web site and all its pages copyright © 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002 Jon C.